Sleepless Night

Last night I was awoken at 2AM by two drunken hooligans fighting in the street. I quickly jumped out of bed and ran to the window. No punches were being thrown, but they were all up in each other’s grills. Being a dude I was quite entertained and excited by the prospect that I might witness a fight. As time went on the two became less violent, a kiss and make up seemed imminent. As not to be awoken without good cause, I decided to “stir the pot”. I made a beeline to the fridge and grabbed a handful of eggs. I crept out onto my balcony, staying in the shadows, and started hurling eggs at them. Just in case they had some crazy ability to scale walls, I retained to the shadows. After the third egg was thrown they realized what was happening. They yelled some quick obscenities then awkwardly began to run away. As they were fleeing I stepped out of the shadows and threw two more eggs for good measure. Then, with as tough as a look as I could muster, I flexed and looked down upon them in my newfound glory! Those shadows quickly became a distant memory to me. The 1600 block of South Prairie Avenue won’t be seeing them anytime soon.

Now, I don’t want to say what I did was heroic – but, it was pretty damn close!