September 30, 2009

dear nice person who stole my american express account number:

you suck. thanks for racking up $1200 on my card. awfully nice of you! who spends $115 on movie tickets? did you take everyone you know? luckily you were stupid enough to buy an airplane ticket. you gotta put your NAME on those, friend. and they know where and when you're travelling. so, i hope my peeps at AmEx were telling the truth when they said they'd contact the authorities and have them meet you at the airport and apprehend you. too bad i can't be there!

as much as i'd like to know who you are and how you got my account information, it's nice that i know your's listed on the ticket you bought and i can see it on my AmEx account. i'm currently accepting ideas of what i can do with that information. if you see this man on the street have him call me, he's the smart guy who used my credit card:

thanks to the nice folks at AmEx for being vigilant enough to catch this the day it happened. even if it was due to the fact that a former employee of yours had recently stolen our account information and therefore you were placing additional fraud monitoring on our account. kind of random, assuming the two incidents are unrelated, as you are telling us. anyway, kudos. keep up the good work. also, thanks for not making me responsible for the fraudulent charges.

again, you suck.

p.s. what were the 9 $5 charges at craigslist? also, when you use the greyhound bus ticket you bought, i hope you sit by the craziest, stinkiest, grossest person on the bus. and that they give you the swine flu.

p.p.s. $200 on flowers? and ANOTHER plane ticket?? now i know who you're friends with. nice.

thanks for listening, i feel a little better.


1 comment:

  1. so have they got him yet? it would be totally awesome to be there!!! haha i love that you posted/found his picture!!

    LOVE the letter!!!